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Major General Harry Wickwire Foster, CBE DSO

Led Canadian troops in the Kiska campaign in 1943, for which he was awarded the American Legion of Merit. In 1944 led the 4th Canadian Armoured and 1st Canadian Infantry Divisions during their liberation sweep across France and Belgium. Presided over the court martial of Canada’s top prisoner of war, SS General Kurt Meyer. Organized and commanded Eastern Army Command. Chief Administrator of the Central European District, Imperial War Graves Commission.

Major General H. W. Foster, C.B.E., D.S.O.

Dialecticizer

Translate web pages into Elmer Fudd or Swedish Chef. Bork bork!

Swedish Chef Dialecticizer

Monty Python Sketches

The Spanish Inquisition, the Parrott Sketch, The Lumberjack Song, Spam, RAF Banter and more. Thanks, Bruce!

Skunkworks Red Baron 3D

Game information and help for players of the Red Baron 3D first world war flight simulation. By virtual ace Pepe LePeu, VC. This site best viewed with a clothespin and possibly also an airsick bag. And Cheetos if you have them. Er, and a frosty beverage of some sort.

Wings of Valor

Vogon Poetry

Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe.

The second worst is that of the Azagoths of Kria. During a
recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his
poem "Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.

The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator
Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England in the destruction of the planet Earth.

The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

The Grinch Song

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crockodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you, are as follows, and I quote:

Stink. Stank. Stunk.

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked hoss.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!

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